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OK…I get it. I really do. It’s very “messenger” to be all FTW and ride with angst. Own the road n shit. Get your tatts blazin, see how gnar you can get while your buddy films it so later you can edit together a vid to play at your next PBR track stand orgy…But when you get sammich fucked by a bus and a truck…and you did it to yourself…and it got filmed….well, you’re just a limp dick douche bag in girl jeans that got exactly what you asked for. Yea yea, I know…cyclists have the right of way and all people in cages are out to get you, and you and your entire fixie posse SWEAR it was TOTALLY the bus driver trying to kill you…it really wasn’t. Lemme explain. You know that gag when someone is going to sit down, and you go in all stealth and quick like and jerk the chair out from under them? OK…think of that in reverse. Except you’re the chair with a big fat ass incoming. Things like momentum, inertia, mass, and plain old gravity start to conspire. I know you think all eyes are on you and your vintage keirin track frame you just imported through your hook up in Japan that’s has full NJS kit on it, and how could they possibly not be fixated on the ltd. ed. colab. raw denim cut offs you rock, with the mash x huff x who-the-fk-evr boat shoes….but they’re not. Nope…you are unique. Just like everyone else. But thanks for throwing yourself under the bus none the less.
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